If I could blink, if I could breathe...
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Phantom Planet-Always on my Mind
People need to learn how to keep their big mouths shut. I don't really understand why secrets are invented in the first place since the rumor has also been around since the dawn of time. I blame everything on our ancestor's believing in word of mouth. Alright, alright, so they didn't really have a written language to fall back on but come on! Some of those stories are probably private secrets someone told their chamber maid thinking that they couldn't speak their aristocratic dialogue. Boy, were they wrong.

So I wrote a livejournal entry a couple of days ago about a party I attended thinking nothing of it. Really, I didn't even think anyone read my livejournal. And someone did. A girl from school who has had a love/claw eyes out relationship with me since sophomore year. She told my best friend all about how I was drinking, and how my best friend's ex had been drinking and swearing his love to my best friend(even though she wasn't in a ten mile radius of the party vacinity).

And now the worst part is that my best friend knows I did stupid things. We're the people who always admonished "you don't need alcohol to have fun". And I truly believe that to this very breath but I screwed up. She hasn't told me that she is disappointed in me but I feel ashamed to look into her face all the same.

What am I turning out to be this year? Jesus.

Marrgh-a-tourettes

It's cool to fake romances...
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Dashboard Confessional-The Swiss Army Romance
Topic: L O V E
I am pretty sure that I am in love. You know when you get that fleeting glance from someone and your heart absolutely chokes itself? When they speak to you you turn red and you know what you are saying makes no sense but yet you keep talking to smooth out the ruffles in your feathers? Yeah, that's me. That's totally me.

And he likes someone else. No, eheh. Scratch that. He has someone else. A person who feels the same way about him that I do. Except she gets to have him completely. That's fair, that's cool. Whatever, it's not like I should be tied to this town anymore than I already am. But something in the back of my throat rises and swells when I think about it. So I push it out of my mind and smile and talk and flirt and pray that I'm not coming off the way I sound I am.

Somehow, I keep setting myself up for the letdown. It's a beautiful feeling even if its unrequited. To have your heart feel like there's a permanent spring is unbeatable. Unless you can say they feel the same. That trumps all.Love trumps all.

C'est la vie.

Marrgh-a-tourettes

Bed, Bath, and insanity...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: The Hits of 1979
Topic: college dorm shopping
Today I must go shopping for college bedding. I was blessed with a large bed ever since I was younger and now I will be moving into a much smaller room with a much smaller bed. New duvet is needed. Sadly, I put the one I wanted on hold and have to go back and get it after work this evening. Do I like to coordinate colours, fabrics, and dishes? No. Why in Bob Dole's name would I want to do such a silly thing after working four hours in the food service industry? However, if I am to get the discount on everything, I need to go today. Or else my female parental is practically going to force me by knifepoint to go. We're nutty broads indeed. Causing a scene is our bag.

Saw my friend Kristi who went off to college last year in the local Osco drug. We talked in the hair product aisle for a good fifteen minutes. She's planning on coming back for Spring Break instead of I don't know...chartering a jet to Cancun so we're planning a hangout time. She wants to watch Napoleon Dynamite and I don't know how to bring it to her attention that the movie is terrible. Horrible. No good. Very, very atrocious. Maybe I will convince her that we need to go shopping instead. Even though shopping really isn't my forte either. I'm not a typical female I suppose. But what do you expect as a leader of a nation for a decade? One doesn't have time to shop. Hopefully I can at least bring myself to do coffee with her.

Perhaps it is a good time to get the gold vest on and afix my happy smile to my face.

Adieu.

Marrgh-a-tourettes

Fat man in a little coat...
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: All American Rejects
I have had two pots of coffee. So, being totally high on caffeine and not having anything to do still during my day off, I thought I would post here. Again. Just because I am the world's largest internet junkie. Hardcore junkie here. Even though my computer technology is sloooow and I have only a 56k modem. Yeah shut up, I bet you're not Bill Gates either sparky.

Right now I really am looking up how much yarn costs in bulk. Why you might ask, would I be doing a thing like that? Is it because I plan on knitting a sweater for everyone in my immediate family? Heck no. For Consumer Ec, we have to partner up and create a business so we can learn the delicate trade of entrepaneurship...entrepenuership...uh small business owning. I am working with a girl in my class that I have never worked with before and therefore am using the day off to get things done in order to impress her so she will want to work on other Consumer Ec projects with me. Life really is all a plot you know. We're making a create-your-own clothing shop called Sew What. Yeah, genius I know. MENSA would be proud.



I don't know what time I am supposed to come over to Cameron's house. He has yet to call me. My best friend Josh, or Francois Mitterand as I call him, is exploring his future college home and I miss the crap outta him. Usually we have movie nights on Fridays where we use his digi cam to make editorial comments on the world as we know it. Sadly, I am without a digi cam to do it myself. Plus it would be bloody boring that way.

Hmm I feel a break to Chicago coming soon. However, not soon enough. Farking senioritis.

If you happen to be a voyeur...
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Radiohead-Pablo Honey
Topic: My beginning
Hello Mum, Jesus, Tripod, and St. Agnes the IV,

I thought I would start a nice little blog here at Tripod in order to express my feelings, attitudes, views, humourous rantings, and love of everything English except for the food.

You may all call me Margaret. Is that my real name? No. Of course not. Putting my real name out on the internet would be perverse. I'm a female. I love to talk about but am not limited to talking about the following:

Coffee
Cinema
Theatre
Music
Love
Death
Poetry
Literature
Sex
Parliament
Royal Scandal
News
Underpants
Kangaroos
Feminism
Public Speaking
Manchester United
Women
Men
Children
Ecological Science
Psychology
Masochism
Tarot cards
Astrology
Photography
Famous World Leaders of 80's
School
Food Service
Bob Dole
And most importantly...
England.

I will never talk about, even if you pay me with sex:
Your Mother
Jesus Christ
Myself(in depth).

And now onto the real meat and grit of the entry which will be about, of all things, my wonderful day off...

Days off are beautiful creatures. As I write this I have absolutely nothing to do with my little self. No classes, no work, nada bing bang. Of course, if I were more self-disciplined, I would be working on the many chores that need to be accomplished in this house of mine. I am not self-disciplined enough to give three fourths of a shit. I'm lucky if I remember to turn off my coffee pot in the morning much less remember to do laundry or dishes. Hence the wonderful invention of parents. Female parents to be more specific.

Later my friend Cameron is going to make me sushi and serve me white tea in his new teapot. He's so excited about the sushi class he's been taking at the local chef spot that he begged me to let him make sushi for me. Here is the dilema, the conundrum I face: I hate sushi. With all of my soul, I regurgitate at the thought of raw fish wrapped in a sea plant. Honestly, I don't trust anything that comes out of the ocean and hasn't been sauteed in butter and garlic. But I shall swallow whole, smile, drink plenty of tea, and make him feel better. That's my friendly duty. Choke on the sushi to make him feel better.

Ok, this little entry is going to end with a bang.

BANG!

Marrgh-a-tourettes